Your teenage son spends 20 minutes staring at his jaw in the bathroom mirror. He’s started holding his tongue against the roof of his mouth. He talks about his “score.” You have no idea what any of this means.
Welcome to looksmaxxing, one of the fastest-growing trends among teenage boys right now.
What is looksmaxxing?
Looksmaxxing means trying to look as attractive as possible, based on a very specific set of rules. It started in online forums linked to “incel” (involuntarily celibate) culture, where men believe they cannot get into relationships because of how they look. It has since spread to TikTok, where it now reaches millions of teenage boys.
The trend gives scores to parts of the male face and body, mostly the jawline, eyes, and muscles. Boys then try to improve those scores in two main ways. Softmaxxing means low-effort changes like skincare, diet, or a new haircut. Hardmaxxing means more extreme steps like steroids, hair transplants, or surgery.
One of the most popular techniques is “mewing.” This means resting your tongue on the roof of your mouth to try to make your jawline look sharper. The American Association of Orthodontists has said there is almost no scientific proof it works.
“The TikTok stuff out there is not evidence-based, but it is reported as science,” says Dr Stuart Murray, director of the Eating Disorders Program at the University of Southern California.
Why is it spreading so fast?
TikTok’s algorithm pushes this content toward boys who already watch videos about fitness, style, or “sigma male” culture. Many creators have millions of followers. One creator in the BBC’s investigation had 1.5 million followers and ran paid online courses on facial attractiveness.
The trend often uses clips from the 2000 film American Psycho, where a character obsesses over his appearance. The scene has been watched 17 million times on YouTube and copied in many “get ready with me” videos. Boys who are new to this content often miss that the film is a satire, meaning it is making fun of that kind of obsession, not celebrating it.
What’s the real danger?
Experts say the biggest risk is not the skincare tips. It is the way looksmaxxing trains boys to see themselves as a number on a scale.
The first concern is eating disorders. Scoring body parts can lead to the same thought patterns doctors see in people with eating disorders.
Dr Murray says this is often missed in boys because it hides behind muscle-building and gym culture. It can look like healthy behaviour from the outside.
The second concern is what happens to self-esteem. Many looksmaxxing forums let users post selfies and receive crowd-sourced scores from strangers.
When a boy starts measuring his worth by how a faceless online crowd rates his jawline, that is directly harmful to how he sees himself.
The third concern is where the deeper content leads. Looksmaxxing has roots in the “manosphere,” a network of online spaces that often promote sexism and extreme ideas about what it means to be a man.
Not every boy who watches a skincare video ends up there, but the algorithm can pull them further in without them noticing.
“If you are diluting yourself down to a number or a skin tone, or an angular tilt of your face, it reduces your value as a person.”Dr Stuart Murray, University of Southern California
What can you do as a parent?
Remind your teenager that caring about how you look is completely normal. It is part of growing up. The difference is between taking care of yourself and becoming obsessed with fixing yourself.
Help them understand that filters, lighting, and editing shape everything they see online
Dr Murray’s advice is straightforward: look at the content together. Not to take the phone away, but to talk about what you both see.
Ask your son what he watches, without judging. Curiosity works better than lectures. If he mentions scoring his appearance or talks about getting a “higher number,” take it seriously. It is not just vanity.
Watch for signs of disordered eating or over-exercising, even if it looks like “just getting fit.” Point out that most looksmaxxing content is not based on science, even when it sounds like it is.
If you are worried, a GP or school counsellor is a good first step. Eating disorders in boys are often missed by medical professionals too, so being specific about what you have seen helps.
Not every boy who watches this content will be harmed by it. Some use it as a gateway to basic self-care. But the more a boy starts measuring himself against a checklist of facial features, the harder it becomes to see his own value in any other way. That is worth a conversation, even an awkward one.
If you are concerned about your child’s relationship with food, exercise, or body image, speak to your GP. In the UK, support is available through Beat Eating Disorders at beateatingdisorders.org.uk.
