It Starts Innocently: Gaming, Friends, and Cute Memes
For Rachel’s son, it began the way it does for millions of children – gaming .
He started playing Roblox offline at age 8 or 9, just simple fun. Eventually, he wanted to play online with friends who’d moved away. Later, like many gamers, he joined Discord to share gaming “hacks” and tips .
“I always felt like he was safe,” Rachel says .
His behavior looked like typical teenage moodiness and withdrawal. Nothing alarming .
Then his phone was confiscated at school. When his parents checked his room, they found razor blades, pocket knives, and kitchen knives hidden in boxes .
When he finally handed over his phone password, Rachel discovered hundreds of memes. At first glance they were pastel and cartoonish – Hello Kitty-like, anime-ish. But looking closer, each held something disturbing: smeared black eyes, blood, bloodied skin .
Captions read: “I don’t matter,” “I’m worthless,” and “Make me bleed and tell me how pretty I look” .
Ten months of escalation – from mental health content, to anorexia material, to self-harm, to sexualized content . Some of the self-harm on his body had been “done for somebody” .
Her neurodivergent son, searching for acceptance and belonging, had found a community online. But belonging came with conditions .
He later corrected his mother: “I wasn’t in a cult. I was being groomed” .
What Is “The Com”?
The Com is a loose network of online sadistic groups involving mostly children and young adults who coerce and exploit other children. A new report from intelligence firm Resolver, partnering with the Molly Rose Foundation, identifies this as an emerging global threat .
Unlike traditional predators, these groups:
- Trade child sexual abuse material and self-harm content for status, not money
- “Gamify” harm by rewarding members with notoriety for causing abuse
- Target vulnerable children through fake support groups for neurodiverse and LGBTQ+ communities
- Operate across gaming platforms (Roblox, Discord), messaging apps (Telegram), and social media
- Use grooming tactics that escalate gradually over months
The Facts: What the Report Reveals
- Over 90 group chats and channels found on Telegram alone, plus several Discord servers
- Activity now spans five continents, not just Europe and the US
- Groups offer criminal services including “swatting” (fake emergency calls to schools for as little as £14.50)
- Some groups require new members to force victims into self-harm as a condition for joining
- Members often drift between groups, making detection difficult
- Children are both targeted and recruited – they’re victims and perpetrators
How Children Get Pulled In: Sally’s Story
Sally’s son was an animal lover and keen angler, “quite chatty” with a good sense of humor . But behind his bedroom door, a different version was taking shape.
Years of bullying had left him isolated with low self-esteem, convinced he didn’t belong .
He didn’t go looking for the Com. He and friends stumbled across something strange while gaming one night and mocked it. But someone in the network noticed him – his vulnerability, his fascination with horror films – and slowly pulled him in .
The Com flattered him, gave him “jobs,” made him feel part of something .
Sally describes something her son said that haunts her: “People keep getting me to do things I don’t want to do” . She thought he meant his online girlfriend. He was later arrested in connection with an offense of encouraging suicide .
He’s now “absolutely mortified” about his online alias .
Sally’s advice: “Do not assume that because your child is at home in their room that they are safe” .
Warning Signs for Parents and Teachers
Behavioral Changes
- Mood swings and social withdrawal (easily confused with normal teenage behavior)
- Inability to discuss online activities
- Evidence of self-harm
- Saying things like “people keep getting me to do things I don’t want to do”
Digital Red Flags
- Pastel, cartoonish memes (Hello Kitty-style, anime) with disturbing elements: black eyes, blood, harmful captions
- Sketches depicting violence, weapons, occult symbols, pentagrams
- Hidden items like razor blades, knives, or sharp objects
- Excessive time in gaming chat rooms or Discord servers
The Grooming Pattern
The escalation typically unfolds over months :
- Mental health language and content
- Anorexia or body image material
- Self-harm encouragement
- Sexualized content
- Demands for “proof” (images/videos) for status
Who Is Most Vulnerable?
Children at highest risk include those who :
- Are neurodivergent (ADHD, autism)
- Experience bullying or social isolation
- Have low self-esteem or feel they don’t belong
- Struggle with mental health, eating disorders, or self-harm
- Are searching for community and acceptance online
Important: Perpetrators specifically target these vulnerabilities through fake support groups .
Practical Protection Steps
For Parents
For Teachers
- Include Com awareness in safeguarding training: This is now a national concern
- Watch for artwork and written content: Drawings depicting violence, occult symbols, blood, weapons are warning signs
- Be alert to sudden isolation: Children may withdraw while becoming more secretive about online activity
- Report concerns: Contact local safeguarding leads and the National Crime Agency for serious cases
- Educate students: Age-appropriate lessons about manipulation tactics and online grooming
What Authorities Are Doing
- The National Crime Agency reports a significant rise in teenage boys joining these harmful communities
- Home Office-funded undercover officers safeguarded 1,748 children and arrested 1,797 perpetrators last year
- Ofcom has a dedicated team dealing with these groups and engaging with major platforms
- The Molly Rose Foundation is calling for self-harm and suicide to become a national policing priority
- Telegram says it has continually removed Com-associated groups and uses AI tools to monitor and remove millions of harmful content pieces daily
However, experts warn the Online Safety Act may be “too timid” to handle this complex mix of harms .
Key Takeaway for Parents and Teachers
Children in their bedrooms are not automatically safe. The grooming happens gradually – meme by meme, line by line, text by text .
Rachel reflects: “I allowed his world view, during this really critical period between 10 and 13, to be developed meme by meme, line by line, text by text” .
The pattern takes months to develop, giving parents and teachers a window to notice changes and intervene before serious harm occurs .
